Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, whose family is chronicled on
the hit TLC show 19 Kids and Counting, recently lost the baby that Michelle was
carrying. Jubilee Shalom Duggar was stillborn on December 11th when
she was 19 weeks along; she weighed just 4 ounces.
This family is obviously mourning the loss of their
daughter, and they should be given time to grieve. I have debated blogging on
this issue because I believe in privacy, but yet it is the need for privacy
that has compelled me to write this. I have been disgusted by the criticism
this family has received.
This family has many critics for the same reason Tim Tebow
does: they are successful Christians, and non-believers can’t stand that. They
passionately love Jesus, live holy lives, and enjoy life. They are proof that
Christians don’t need filthy TV, sexual music, or alcohol to have a good time,
and for that, liberal Christians have become their critics as well.
The 19th Duggar baby, Josie, was born early and spent
a few months in the NICU. There were harsh comments made then about how
careless it was for them to continue to have children. So last month when the
Duggars announced that Michelle, now 45 years old, was pregnant again, the
blogosphere erupted with more of the same.
I’m having trouble reconciling these comments of concern for
the loss of a baby with the political agenda that says Michelle could have
aborted this baby if she wanted to. These people are saying that the Duggar
family’s selfish desire for another child has caused this tragedy, but since
the majority of their critics are liberals, these comments are being made from
people who would be just fine (some even delighted) with her choosing to abort.
The family has even been criticized for having a memorial
service for little Jubilee. At the service the family passed out a black and
white picture of Jubilee’s feet in Michelle’s hand, and an inscription that
read, “There is no foot too small that it cannot leave an imprint on the world.”
An article in The Daily Beast reported on this event: “It just seems too public and almost seems
like, ‘OK, we’re stars, everybody wants to know abut us.’ From what I know of
parents who have lost children, it’s horrific. It’s not something you want pictures
of. There are people who will argue with me and say it’s a way of coming to
terms with the death. But given the Duggars’ history, their television show,
and the way they exploit their children, I just find this a cog in the same
wheel. I find it rather distasteful.”
What I find
distasteful is a woman who hasn’t lost a child trying to weigh in on how the
parents are supposed to grieve. The woman who said that, a psychologist named Susan Newman, should
know that there is not a textbook way to deal with a loss. A frequent critic of
the Duggars, she is putting her professional skills aside to take a stab at
this family. She assumes that parents will not want pictures of their lost
children, so I wonder how she explains organizations like Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, which take pictures especially for families that have lost a child.
When my aunt and
uncle had a stillborn daughter they took many pictures, some of which are still
displayed in their house along with their other children’s photos. They also
had a memorial service. For this psychologist to claim that the Duggars are
only doing those things to exploit their children is absurd.
The real reason why
this is disturbing people is that these beautiful pictures of tiny hands and
feet hurt the abortion issue. An overwhelming percentage of women (every survey
puts the number in the 90%’s) who have aborted said they were given very little
information about how abortion works and about the life that was developing
inside of them. Pictures like these might help young ladies realize that it is
not a “glob of tissue,” but a tiny human. This scares liberals.
As I explain in my
book Asleep in Heaven’s Nursery, life
begins at conception, and these babies that were lost too soon are immediately
ushered into heaven. The Duggars’ strong faith in the Lord assures them of
this, and they know that they will see Jubilee in heaven.
I hope that no
professing Christian is criticizing this family during this time of tragedy. As
Christians, let’s take this opportunity to pray for them. Pray that God’s Holy
Spirit will provide the Comfort that He promises, and pray that this family
will continue to be a light for Jesus Christ to millions of people every
day.
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