Anger can spread like wildfire. Hurt the wrong person’s feelings and wars can break out. This was perfectly illustrated in 1894 when the Boston Red Sox hosted the Baltimore Orioles. During the course of the baseball game one player lost his temper and started a fight with someone from the other team. Within seconds both dugouts cleared as the athletes and staffs engaged in a brawl out on the field. The violence carried over into the stands when one fan punched another, and soon the entire ballpark was one big riot. During the mayhem someone set fire to the bleachers, which were wooden in those days, and the entire venue was burned. The fire was not quickly contained, and when the smoke cleared, 107 buildings in Boston were impacted by the blaze.
Anger can poison our minds and cause us to believe that we need to react in kind. This way of thinking can lead us to misery as we make wrong decisions in the heat of the moment. That is why Laydon Milton, in his book The Hostility Trap, referred to anger as “the chief saboteur of the mind.” Anger sabotages our minds, telling us we need to get even or lash out or hold a grudge. When we believe anger’s lies we end up making decisions that we can regret for a lifetime.
Rather than letting anger sabotage our minds into an improper response, we should follow the teachings of Paul in Ephesians 4:26-27: “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” When we do not deal with our anger in a timely manner we give the devil an opportunity to cause the anger to turn into bitterness and hatred, which puts us in dangerous territory. We need to deal with anger right away.
Not letting the sun go down on our anger should not be taken so strictly; if you are angry at 7:00 in the morning, that does not mean you have twelve hours before you have to deal with it. The point is to deal with anger immediately. We deal with it by honestly telling the person how we feel, and most importantly, by forgiving the person who wronged us, whether they asked for it or not. Five verses later in Ephesians Paul wrote, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” We cannot control what other people do, but forgiveness is our responsibility.
And yet some Christians think they can choose not to forgive, but the Bible never gives us that as an option. I hear people say, “I can never forgive that person. I’m going to take this to my grave.” You’re going to take it to an early grave, because your refusal to forgive is only hurting yourself. Persistent anger can lead to headaches and ulcers, even high blood pressure and heart attacks. It also robs us of the joy that Jesus came to give us. Bitterness and joy will not coexist in our hearts.
It has been rightly said that not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die. We act as if our refusal to forgive somehow teaches the other person a lesson, but in truth they are going right on with their lives while we are the ones who are miserable. Who really has the upper hand? When we choose to forgive we move from victim to victor and we allow the peace and joy from God to rule in our lives.
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