People need to communicate. Whether verbally or nonverbally, humans are in constant communication with one another, so if we are bad at it, we can ruin relationships. Some people are poor communicators for a variety of reasons, but if that is you, fear not. Dr. Gary Collins, in his book Christian Counseling, wrote, “Communication is a learned interaction. That which is not good can be made better.”
I want to share a few quick communication killers, things we might do that turn people off and hurt our relationship. Dishonesty is a big one. Colossians 3:9 says, “Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices.” The unsaved person may lie, but those of us who are in Christ should not.
Interrupting someone who is talking is another communication killer. Interruption says, “What I want to say is more important than what you are saying. In fact, I’m more important than you.” Respect someone enough to listen intently when they are talking.
Hurtful words, as well as nagging and complaining all hurt communication. Proverbs 21:9 humorously states, “It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.” Men would rather put a sleeping bag on their roof than live in the house with a nagging wife.
Hyperbole also kills communication. “You always…” “You never…” “You are just like…” Those statements aren’t true, so don’t use them.
Dwelling on past mistakes is another one. If you bring up something you said you forgave, you are killing communication. And the worst form of communication is to not speak at all. The silent treatment is a cowardly way of avoiding conflict. Your words are not a prize to be won, so don’t treat them like a trophy. Ephesians 4:26 says not to let the sun go down on your anger. The silent treatment avoids reconciliation, which is always the goal.
These are just a few quick tips to help you communicate. If you are employing any of these communication killers, slay them now and become a better communicator.
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