With Sex Education being a part of our public school system,
each county or district has to decide how they will teach it. Some have
abstinence education, while others teach “safe sex” and give out
taxpayer-funded contraception.
In Union County where I reside we are abstinence only in our
approach. The fact that as recently as three years ago we led South Carolina’s
counties per capita in pregnancies among 15-19 year olds was a black eye on the
abstinence approach.
Was it time to introduce “safer choices”? Is abstinence a
failing system? Do desperate times call for desperate measures?
For starters, the
real problem was our county’s approach; the only thing we were abstinent from
was a curriculum. It was discovered that with budget cuts and busy days many
teachers didn’t have time to get around to what they were supposed to teach,
and there was little to no oversight from the county.
That led the county to form a Comprehensive Health Committee
that was tasked with finding an abstinence-based curriculum, and to also find
ways to address drug and alcohol abuse, bullying and violence, and other
related issues.
The committee soon discovered that finding an
abstinence-based curriculum was easier said than done. Some were purely about abstinence,
but they gave no reason as to why students should not do what they already
wanted to do (and were doing). Others claimed to be about abstinence, but a
closer inspection found homework assignments about putting condoms on cucumbers
and calling STD hotlines. Obviously, those are two things that an abstinent
person need not worry about.
The committee eventually found a curriculum called Choosing the Best, which was also being
used in one of our neighbor Spartanburg’s districts. There was eventually
unanimous support from the committee, and after an initial balk from the school
board, was unanimously approved for Union County’s 6th grade and up
(high school students only take it once, so each student will go through four
years of abstinence education).
One year after the curriculum was instituted there was only
positive feedback from both teachers and students. Now two years later we see
that Union County once again led the state, but this time in a different
category. We led all counties with a 21% decrease in 15-19 year old
pregnancies. Care to take a guess at who was #2? You guessed it: Spartanburg’s
District 7, who has used the curriculum for three years.
Some told us that desperate times call for desperate
measures, and that condoms would solve the pregnancy problem (I disagree;
condoms increase sexual activity, and
then the number of pregnancies increases proportionally). But in my opinion,
the only reason we have “desperate times” is we have already instituted the
“desperate measures.” Do you realize that teenage pregnancy was not a problem
in our grandparents’ generation? It only became a problem once contraception
was introduced into our schools and our children became the victims of the
liberal agenda.
Contraception was what started the desperate times, so the
desperate measure should be to return to abstinence until marriage.
I laugh when people tell me that abstinence doesn’t work. I
say, “Have you ever met an abstinent person who was pregnant or had an STD?”
I’ve met plenty of people who got pregnant while using birth control.
Abstinence is not 100% effective, it is 1000% effective.
It’s funny to me how strongly I feel about this issue
because I am actually opposed to sex education. But the government requires
that it be taught in the public schools, so the important question is in
deciding what will be taught. And what we have found is that when abstinence is
taught the right way students can make the right choices.
Comments
Yes, abstinence works. And yes, it is the desperate measures that have caused the desperate times. The atmosphere and opportunity were created, thus inviting the action. For example, I don't have curfews for my kids... the oldest being 18 has never had a curfew. It's a contrived boundary that gives the wrong idea: you can stay out 'this late'... why? When he had a specific event or plan for the evening, the time to return home was dictated by that plan. If it was an event or plan of which we, his parents, didn't approve, he was at home. Never will our kids have freedom to roam until a certain hour chimes. There is a false sense of freedom that invites trouble.
When we say, "save yourself til marriage" while handing out contraception, there is a disconnect, and the teen rightly discerns a false sense of permission... that invites trouble.
Underestimating our children is one of the greatest flaws I have witnessed in parenting today. The bar is continually lowered, not because kids can't overcome, but because parents want to take the easy way out: abdicating parental responsibilities, looking the other direction & hoping for the best, protecting kids from struggles, not providing a good example, wanting to be the kid's friend instead of the parent, etc.
Of course, the source for authority is lacking in many homes, and that's the ultimate and underlying flaw. When my non-Christian brother said he wouldn't let his young daughter live with someone (unmarried), I asked him, "On who's authority? Yours?... hardly." Parents have no authority outside of that which is given to them from God, and when there is no relationship with Him, the parent has no source of authority, thus no authority.
I am so encouraged when I see strong young families like yours! Keep the bar high and challenge your beautiful daughter to godliness!
~ Cherie ~
You said a lot of good things. I recently posted a review of Mark Gregston's book Tough Guys and Drama Queens, and in it he said that we have too many peer-ants and not enough parents. I think you would probably agree with that.
It is tough even with a 3 year old to want to cut her some slack because i love when she looks happy to see me, and I don't want to compromise that. But I also know that in the end she will turn out better and we will have an even better relationship if we raise her based on God's authority.