Achy Broken Heart

Two stories from over the weekend broke my heart as a father. On Sunday night Miley Cyrus “performed” at the MTV VMA’s (imho that’s too many letters, lol). Facebook was all abuzz during the show, making me wonder why so many of my Christian friends were watching the Music Video Awards to start with, but I’ll move on.

When Miley Cyrus danced on stage she was about as close to naked as a person can be, and the performance was extremely sexual. I couldn’t help but wonder how her father feels about his young daughter’s transformation.

Miley is the daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus, who jumped into the country music spotlight with his 1992 hit Achy Breaky Heart. His time at the top was relatively short, but he reemerged alongside his daughter on their Disney Channel sitcom Hannah Montana. The show launched Miley’s career, and it re-launched Billy Ray’s.

I’ve never spoken to either Cyrus, but it seems to me that the elder pushing the younger towards success is a lesson in how not to raise a child. The “career first” mentality appears to be both seductive and destructive.

The other heart-breaking event came on Saturday when I was watching the Apopka Blue Darters play the Byrnes Rebels in high school football. I grew up 10 minutes from Apopka High (home of Hall of Famer Warren Sapp) so I was excited to see them so close again.

Apopka’s head coach is Rick Darlington, and Rick’s son Zach is the senior quarterback. With under 4 minutes to go in the game and the visiting Blue Darters trailing the Rebels by 8, Zack rolled out of the pocket and was heading for the sideline when a defender tackled him.

The hit was clean and legal, but it resulted in a concussion for the QB. Everyone in the stands held their breath as Darlington lay there motionless.

He never moved or even opened his eyes while medical personnel loaded him on the stretcher. After fifteen minutes or so he was taken to an adjacent field; while he was being carted away the game resumed, and Coach Rick Darlington remained on the sidelines calling the game.

Within seconds cameras showed a chopper descending onto the field, and Zach was loaded up and airlifted to Spartanburg Regional Medical Center. Rick Darlington stayed on the sidelines while his son’s health was uncertain.

I was furious. I felt like I cared more about this kid than his own father. But then the worst part was the announcer’s comment about how hard it must be for a father who “has to” keep coaching. Has to? With his son on a helicopter? There are a dozen assistant coaches on the sideline, and none of them can coach the last 3 minutes?

That comment showed the perception of Americans. A dad has to keep coaching when his son may never walk again.

The message from coach to quarterback was clear: Rick’s career was more important. I could be wrong about this, but every father I’ve talked to agrees that there is nothing that would have kept us off of that helicopter (Zach was released from the hospital on Monday and is doing fine).

I’m not calling either of these men bad fathers; I don’t know them, and that would not be fair. Neither am I calling myself the model of fatherhood, because I certainly make mistakes. But these very public instances over the weekend hurt my heart as I saw a generation of children being failed by their parents. More specifically, by their fathers.

Our children can certainly become rich, famous stars, singers, and sports players. But as parents we have to model for them what is most important. Faith and family come before fame.

To Save a Life

(Like my blog about the peace symbol, this blog was written as a default response to all the parents, students, and other people who are asking my opinion of To Save a Life.) By now you have probably heard of the movie To Save a Life, which opened nation-wide in theaters on January 22nd. The movie deals with so many issues that teens face today, like suicide, cutting, drinking, drugs, premarital sex, teen pregnancy, and abortion. At first glance this movie looks like an awesome resource that we should recommend for our teens, parents, youth pastors, and youth workers. But a closer look at the movie reveals a few disturbing things. For starters, according to pluggedin.com, there are 2 uses of the “A” word, 5 uses of hell (used as a curse word), and once the “D” word is used. There are other crude terms used to describe a girl, and crude terms for referring to sexual activity. There is also a bedroom scene that shows a girl removing a boy’s shirt, then afterwards the girl putting he

Evangelism

“Preach the gospel at all times, and when necessary, use words.” St. Francis of Assisi is given credit for this famous quote (although that exact phrasing does not appear in any of his writings), and a lot of people would think that this is a great philosophy. His actual quote was that everyone should “preach by their deeds.” Preaching with our deeds is not just a strategy, it is a necessity. We are commanded all through the Scriptures to let our light shine and be a peculiar people. People should be able to look at our lives and see that we are Christians. They should see the love of Christ readily on display, and thus feel compelled to live their lives in the same way. The sermon that we should preach with our lives is a sermon of love, joy, peace, patience, self-control, forgiveness, conviction, etc. But this idea that has emerged that says we should ONLY preach with our deeds is a heresy straight from the devil himself. Think about it: who is the one that does not want you t

What is a Curse Word?

I know. Stupid question, right? But lately I have heard Christians begin to debate what actually makes a word a curse word. Since the Bible never says, “Thou shalt not say the ‘s’ word,” how do we know that a word is bad? Because of this I have heard Christians justify cursing. The Bible gives a broad command for Christians to adhere to: let no corrupt word come out of your mouth (Ephesians 4:29). The word corrupt means rotten; therefore, we should never say a rotten word, whether it is on the list of curse words or not. First, we have to realize that there are curse words. On the night of Jesus’ arrest Peter was found guilty of using one himself. Matthew 26:74 tells us that when Peter denied knowing Jesus that he began “to curse and to swear.” This verse shows that there are curse words, and that they are wrong to use. I’m sure whatever words Peter said were not the same curse words that we have in our culture today. Here is the point: a curse word (or rotten word) is any wo

B.Ham said…

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this piece about those two fathers- and the impact society has on lives! I agree 100%; being an English and Sociology major, the connections between society and the literature that tells us about it, is closer relation than most think! If you was to read some of the Southern Literature I've read over the years, the days of the world to-date were predicted and described many, many years ago in literature... most literature of which the people of their times thought them to be crazy! People need to realize how much impact we all have on each others lives! The things we do, or neglect to do, can cause actions and behavior that makes no sense to us.

August 27, 2013 at 12:15 PM

Tommy Mann Ministries said…

B. Ham,

Thank you for your comment. I agree with what you said, and would even expand literature to cover media today. I believe that Miley is doing what she thinks she has to do to be relevant and sell CDs. The culture is defining people.

August 27, 2013 at 1:14 PM

Tommy Mann

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