A few months after Bob broke off his engagement to Sally, he received this letter from her out of the blue:
My dearest Bob. I have not been myself since you called off the wedding. I miss you terribly. I have been unable to sleep, I have no appetite, and no desire to do anything at all. I cannot control my emotions. Each day a million little reminders of you cause me to burst into tears and cry uncontrollably. If you would only take me back, I will be the happiest girl in the world. Please know that I love you so!
P.s. Congratulations on winning the 107 million dollar Powerball.
Sally might not have had the purest motive for wanting to reconcile with Bob, but that should be the goal of any believers who are in conflict. In Matthew 5:23-24 Jesus said, “So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”
That instruction from the Lord is so important because it reveals how vital reconciliation is. First Century Jews might have thought bringing their gift to the altar was their highest duty; after all, they were fulfilling the commands in the law. But Jesus said to hit the pause button on the sacrifice and make amends with your brother first.
We are not meant to live in conflict. We must do whatever is necessary to restore a wounded relationship, even if it is difficult to do so. Your gift will still be waiting at the altar once you are reconciled.
If you are in conflict with someone, don’t delay. Like Sally, send them a letter out of the blue; unlike Sally, don’t do it only because they won the lottery. Reach out to that person if you are able to do so. Life is too short to spend it fighting.
Something else to consider from Jesus’ words in Matthew 5—we are told to hold off on bringing our gift to the altar until we are reconciled because God isn’t interested in our gift unless we are reconciled. We become hypocrites, pretending everything is ok when there is a problem that hasn’t been dealt with. You can’t control whether the other person is willing to be reconciled to you, but you can control yourself, and you need to make the effort.
If you regain your friend, you are the one who hit the jackpot.
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