A married man was out somewhere he never should have been, with a woman he never should have been with. He wife was back at the house worried about him because he never came home, and he was not responding to her calls or texts.
Desperate for information, she sent a text message to her husband’s five closest friends, asking them the same question: Frank hasn’t come home yet. Is he with you?”
By the time Frank made it home that night, his wife had received five text messages, each providing a different alibi for their friend. Whatever Frank was doing, she knew he wasn’t in five places at once.
We can applaud loyalty, and we all want friends that will go to bat for us, but it is possible to be too loyal. The five friends who thought they were helping their buddy out actually sealed his fate. If they had been honest, the wife would still learn the truth, but they wouldn’t have been exposed as liars.
When we lie to help a friend, we aren’t actually helping. In that obviously fake story, the wife had a right to know where her husband was; keeping that information from her in the name of being a loyal friend is simply not right.
This is what Solomon meant by the proverb, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend (27:6).” Our real friends are the ones who tell it like it is, who aren’t afraid to wound us, not the ones who tell us what we want to hear.
If your friend is out of line, the best way to be a friend is to give it to him straight. He won’t become better by you looking the other way. Don’t be afraid to wound him (metaphorically, of course!). Pierce him with the sharp arrows of honesty. Assault him with the wisdom that says, “The path you are going down will only lead to ruin.”
On second thought, maybe it isn’t possible to be too loyal. Maybe we just need a better definition of loyalty. A friend that is truly loyal will always tell someone what they need to hear rather than what they want to hear.
We need more loyal friends to look out for us and hold us accountable. Surround yourself with friends like that, be that kind of friend, and we will all be much better off.
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